The food is just fine, now leave me alone!

I absolutely love going out for dinner. I do it quite a lot. I eat at pubs, inns, restaurants, cafe’s, bistro’s. I love the whole bit of the welcome, the pre dinner drinkies. Perusing the menu and trying to convince myself I should try other things at restaurants I go to regularly, before settling on the stuff I know to be good. Why risk the chance of disappointment? I love it when the Maitre’d knows you and gives you a big welcome. I guess this is because my wine part of the bill is always so hefty which means I can’t count properly when it comes time to tip and I am a naturally generous soul.

There is a little routine though that goes on in most restaurants throughout the land and most of the western world. You’ve got your food, you are several minutes into enjoying the whole evening and then it sort of goes wrong for me. The waiter pitches up mid mouthful and asks “Is everything alright with the food?”  So as you have a mouthful you nod and wave your knife or something to confirm that, yes the food is fine. Seriously just stop it !!!  What do they think is going to happen? You’ve eaten half a plate full and are you really going to say. “Actually you know what? This is rubbish can you take it away and bring me a fresh plate of food?” Conversely, who the hell sits there with sub standard food and waits for the waiter to come back at some stage and ask if its OK? No, if it’s not OK you flag it up immediately.  That’s just the starter. They do it again for the main meal. I can’t afford to go to the seriously expensive fine dining rooms of the world so maybe this nonsense stops when you get over a certain price level? So in the multitude of dining establishments I have been to, without exception I get the waiter wanting to know if my food is OK when I am halfway through eating it.

NO !!  Go away. I don’t want to grin at you through a mouthful of food to confirm my meal is what I paid for. If it is not I will let you know I promise you. I will take my life in my hands by sending back the production of a creative person who’s only job is to create a fabulous meal for paying guests. So when it comes back to them as sub standard therefore I have effectively said to Mr or Mrs Chef that they can’t cook. They are slaving in a hot kitchen to satisfy my less than fussy tastes and I have rejected their offering. I never expect this to go down well so I tend to avoid it unless I feel extremely strongly about it. So waiter person, please just leave me to enjoy my meal and in the unlikely event I feel strongly enough that your chef can’t do their job I will probably just tell you as I leave as I don’t want upset people manhandling my food behind closed doors.

As a foot note this applies tenfold to the bigots who hurl abuse at the people from the sub continent and Asia who are preparing their abusive clients late night fast food where what they do, cannot be seen. These customers are surely some of the stupidest people allowed to walk the streets without supervision.

Bon Appetit !

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