I come from New ‘Zilind’. I reckon it’s beaut.

There’s real spunks to perv at and live things to shoot.

We’ve got pig dogs and boguns, The All Blacks and bro’s

And V8 Monaro’s, I want one of those.

I like to go driving, and get a cheap thrill.

By trying to keep count of all the possums I kill

But I drive round the hedgehogs, coz they’re really cute

I love to go hooning in my Holden ute.

A ute is the best mate, it takes all the gears

Dog, fenceposts, chainsaw, plus dozens of beers

Real blokes don’t live in Auckland, only bankers and woofters

Down country they reckon Auckland’s chock full of pooftas.

But the place can’t be all bad. It’s where the test footy gets played

Plus there’s thousands of places to get pissed and get laid.

We fly Air New ‘Zilind’. It’s our airline they say

They dont crash very much, so thats really neat ay !

Well this poem is finished and this bit is the end

It’s stuffed like a pom by a Buck Shelford fend.